Game Show Time

Game Show time! Post a comment, and you will win 9 prizes:

1. I'll respond with something random about you.
2. I'll tell you which song or movie you remind me of.
3. I'll say something that only makes sense to you and me - if possible. If not, I'll say something that only makes sense to me. ;)
4. I'll tell you my first memory of you.
5. I'll tell you what animal you remind me of.
6. I'll ask you something I've always wondered about you.
7. I'll tell you my favorite thing about you.
8. I'll tell you my least favorite thing about you.
9. If you play, you MUST post this on yours...

and then again

"Cal, Bugsy wont get in bed with me. I think hes mad at me."

"Sarah, why would he be mad at you?"

"Well, I was apologizing for the rape earlier and I told him it wasnt my fault because its so small. Now he hates me even though i said i was sorry for that too."

Yes, I almost peed on myself over that one.

Thanks Sarah.

I hope this isnt how Catherine the Great started out.

So im gonna try and set this up for you as best I can. There i was laying on the couch, belly full of wonderful chicken lo mein, when my loving wife, Sarah, yells at me to come help her in the bathroom. I walk in as she is finishing up washing our 7 year old yorkie mix, Bugsy. Hilarity followed.

"What do you want."

"I just need you to help me finish up."

"Why do you look upset."

"My back hurts and I raped the dog while ago."

I had to have heard her wrong, right? "Excuse me. You raped who?"

"The dog."

Apparently i was not mistaken. "Im sorry? What the hell are you talking about?"

"Well, I was washing his belly and I touched... touched it."

I could tell this was gonna be fun. "Touched what."

"You know... it."

"And?...."

"He looked at me like i had violated him. I feel really bad."

"Maybe he liked it." I really love my life....

cherry poppin good time....

Yes. I am a blog virgin. I have no idea what im doing here. Okay, so lets get right to it. Im very new to this whole blogging thing. Its not that im a retarded caveman (sorry geico spokesperson). I know what blogs are and I have a few that I read fairly religiously. I just never that thought I would actually author something that other people would have the chance to read. I mainly created an account so that I could comment to some friends and thought "why the hell not." I am kind of articulate and my mom tells me im bright and handsome (i dont care what you say alykat... that counts!) So im here to bear my soul and share my wisdom and rant about my wife, kids, dogs, and all the voices.



A little about myself to anyone that wants to know:

1. I am a proud child of the eighties... the eighties rocked. Cartoons were cool. Music was loud. I was young enough to play with transformers and he-men and people didnt look at me funny like they do now.



2. I have a beautiful wife. She drives me bat shit crazy 90% of the time and i wouldnt have it any other way. We are functionally disfunctional and it works for us... and i dont know how. But im always glad to have her in my life.



3. I am a very proud and loving father. I have two wonderful boys to play with and teach me all kinds of new things every day. My oldest is Z. He is 8 years old and may be the smartest freaking kid in the world. He is also dealing with aspergers syndrome, a form of autism, that renders him unable to understand how to respond in what would be called the socially correct way in most situations. He is a bit dramatic and very excitable. He has been the light of my eye since the day of his birth. My youngest is W. He is almost 4 and will support my poker and large TV habits for years to come when he joins the NFL in 5 years... well maybe not that soon, but he is a damn tank. He is smart, goofy, good natured and makes my heart lite by being near him. They are my life. My daily joy. My cause for insanity and early grey hair development. And I will protect them with everything in my power. After all, they get me into all the good cartoon movies without looking like a pervert. Thanks kids.



4. I am a loyal ass friend. If you have a problem with one of the people I have deemed not worthless, then you have a problem with me. Nuff said.



5. I am a very typical guy's guy. I love football (Go Browns). I love baseball (Go Cubbies). I love college basketball (Go Cats... Screw Duke). I love shooting guns, real and on my PS3. Socom is the shiznit. I love playing poker and know that i could win the world series just like everybody else. If you push me, i push back.



6. I am a very untypical guy. I have been called the gayest straight man on the planet. Thanks alex. Love you too. I like sappy movies and dont have a problem with the fine arts. Ballet, theatre, transformers conventions... its all good to me. My wife says I have a good "eye for color" and decorating. Thanks for gaying me up a bit mom... appreciate it.



7. Im horrible at typing grammatically correct. I dont use correct punctuation and i have erased the location of the apostrophe key from my memory. Not really sure why.



8. I love useless info tv as my wife calls it. Military channel? hell yeah! history channel? damn skippy! always on in my house. Much to my wifes dismay.



9. I work. A lot. All the time. At a factory. Its dirty. Its hot. And its not what i wanted for my life. I hate it and love it at the same time.



10. I may be crazy.



Well thats about it for today. Not about first post. Was it as good for you as it was for me? I hope so. Do you need to cuddle? Smoke? No? Then leave the money on the dresser and come back soon. Feel free to leave a comment. Thanks for stopping by.